Unless you happen to have a particularly liberal family where nothing is off-limits, the very thought of talking about s3x with your parents is probably enough to make you gag – especially if that conversation involves mastur-bation and, God forbid, s-ex toys. In most families, talk of s-ex tends to be limited to the initial discussion on the birds and the bees, and most of us would like to keep it that way. Unfortunately, some parents insist on viol-ating these perfectly reasonable boundaries. In fact, a very concerned father recently became hysterical when he stumbled across something that he mistook for a s-ex toy in his daughter’s room. His unsuspecting daughter Emily was at her friend’s house when her dad texted her saying that he had something serious to discuss with her.
“Well I found this,” he informed his daughter via text. “Why are you making these purchases. That is disgusting! You shouldn’t waste your money! If you have these kind of needs, I suggest you don’t leave this sh*t laying around.”
Emily, clearly in shock, responded in all caps, “DAD WHAT DO U THINK THAT IS?” Now if you had received a text like this from your dad, you would probably be sh*tting yourself at this point. But Emily is very assertive and knows that she has nothing to be apologetic about – although, if it had been a s-ex toy, there would have still been no need to apologize.
So what did her dad think the mysterious purple item was? Well, he immediately reveals his out-of-touch ignorance by insisting that it is one of “those things people buy at Spencer”. “Those disgusting toys that vibrate,” he elaborates.
The hilarious thing about this whole debacle is that Emily’s dad is adamant that the item in question is a vibrator. He sees an unidentifiable gadget in his daughter’s room and instantly suspects her of – shock hor-ror – pleasuring herself in the privacy of her bedroom.
Emily is clearly infuriated at her dad’s intrusive behavior and continues to write in all caps, “DAD THATS MY PORTABLE CHARGER! I USE THAT FOR DISNEYLAND TO CHARGE MY PHONE!!! OMG WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN MY STUFF BTW?? (sic)”
Yep, as it turns out, what her dad thought was a “dirty” vibrator was actually just a portable phone charger that Emily was using for the most innocent of reasons – to ensure her phone has enough juice while she was rubbing shoulders with Mickey and Minnie Mouse.
After the revelation that the charger wasn’t as sinister as he thought it was, Emily’s dad replies, “Don’t tell ur mom… sorry. I needed chapstick (sic).”
“Btw be safe when u come home (sic),” he then adds as though he hadn’t just accused her of occasionally mastur-bating. But the story was about to get so much juicier as Emily’s dad was about to get slaughtered on social media..
After the bizarre exchange, Emily shared the entire conversation on Twitter in the form of screenshots. Naturally, the messages went viral, and people started sharing their own embarrassing stories of cringeworthy misunderstandings within their families.
Stories like a grandma believing her own flesh and blood was a junkie who didn’t know how to clean up after herself.
Or stories about uncles believing that their nieces had managed to step their foot in the door to the adult film industry.
Some Twitter users picked up on the fact Emily and her dad had an intimate enough relationship to be able to share chapsticks and yet he felt the need to shame her for doing one of the most natural things in the world.
Emily then admits that she “couldn’t face him when” she came home. Unfortunately, I don’t think she’ll ever be able to look at him the same way ever again. You can’t undo a mastur-bation accu-sation.
I think there’s a lesson to be learned from this story – if you’re a parent, don’t go rooting around in your teenager’s belongings. There’s no telling what you’ll find, and, let’s face it, no one should be sha-med for pleasuring themselves in private.
In fact, other Twitter users showed their support for Emily by stating what should have been obvious in the first place: girls have needs too!
Unfortunately, despite the fact that we have made leaps and bounds in the last few decades when it comes to being more open about our s-ex-uality, masturbation is still a relatively taboo topic.
In all seriousness, it is pretty concerning that a father would condemn his daughter for owning something that in this day and age is hardly out of the ordinary. Many women own vibrators, and it’s entirely their right to be in touch with their own bodies.
Content Credit: viralthread.com